Yesterday was the last day of Brilliance Remastered‘s June class Maroon Studies Intensive #1: Debt and Black UnBelievability. I can never repay the participants in this class for their bravery in co-creating it, the honesty they inspired in me and the generosity of what they each shared. Yesterday we articulated the urgency of how debt and credit emerge in our lives, the false binary between the external enforcements of capitalism and how those enforcement filter into our closest relationships and the depth of incalculable love we are experiencing. On this morning when we are reckoning with the incalculable loss caused by a murderous attack on Mother Emmanuel AME Church in Charleston, SC it feels even more necessary. Below are some poems from our process.
and then the phone rings
by the participants in Maroon Studies Intensive #1: Debt and Black UnBelievability
“We felt it in the way someone saves the best part just for you, and then it’s gone, given, a debt. They don’t want nothing. You got to accept it, you got to accept that. You’re in debt but you can’t give credit because they won’t hold it. Then the phone rings. It’s the creditors. Credit keeps track.” -Debt and Study by Fred Moten and Stefano Harney
then the phone rings
it’s the person i owe a bio (and i still don’t know who i am)
then the phone rings
it’s me asking myself am i smart enough am i good enough did i plan well enough this month
then the phone rings
i need to graduate in order to validate my learning
then the phone rings
it’s your future, the one desired for you, foreclosed, all the major appliances missing. you are going somewhere unknown, but dark
then the phone rings
it’s your cousin who needs help but he always lies to you
then the phone rings
i have nothing to offer you because i don’t have any money
then the phone rings
it’s my partner who needs a place to stay but can’t help pay the rent we can’t afford
then the phone rings
my parents need to retire and be taken care of
then the phone rings
your family is trying not to resent you for being so happy and so broke
then the phone rings
it’s your sister, your niece is hurt, your sister is full of rage, your niece is hurt, your sister’s rage is older than both of them
then the phone rings
it’s auntie, she wants to know what it is i could possibly see without a television
then the phone rings
and you don’t answer because you didn’t do what you said you would do yet, and you did so many other things
no payment possible
(debts that cannot be repaid)
by the participants in Maroon Studies Intensive #1: Debt and Black UnBelievability
“The place of refuge is the place to which you can only owe more, because there is no creditor, no payment possible.” Debt and Study by Fred Moten and Stefano Harney
i am selling my house back to the bank, but i cannot repay the land i’ve lived on
i cannot repay my grandmother’s labor in hospitals and schools
the bush tea strangers made to save my grandfather’s life when he was a child
nearly bleeding to death in the cane fields
the teachers who told my mom she was smart and held high expectations for her
my teachers waiting while I work it through
my mother’s voice telling me I was wonderful before gender in the womb
my mother teaching me to dance and cook despite my resistance
the many conversations i’ve had with my mother that allowed me to find my voice
the experience of watching my father and his siblings dance, reminding me of an unstoppable sense of pride
or you for how you don’t understand and you love me anyway
and you for how you do understand and don’t mind when i don’t notice
*******
(And) Now it’s time to sign up for July’s class: Maroon Studies Intensive #2: Necessary as Water
July 15-17, 2015 (12pm to 2pm Eastern)
This is a webinar intensive for thirsty visionaries who value transnational/intercommunal connections and a planetary scale of transformation. Transubstantiating the poetry of Audre Lorde, the theoretical work of Jacqui Alexander, Chandra Mohanty, Michelle Wright
and Katherine McKittrick and the activist legacies of June Jordan and Lydia Gumbs, this webinar is especially necessary for thinkers connecting basic needs to brave visions.
8 spots are available. $150-225 sliding scale (payment plans available).
You can reserve your spot by offering a $50 non-refundable deposit here (please include the name of the webinar in the notes):
